Mannoun’s First XI Seeks Final Player
Widely referred to as “Mannoun’s First XI,” Liverpool Council is looking to complete their team with what they hope will be their Don Bradman of CEOs. Let’s hope this one’s a keeper – both in cricket terms and employment longevity.
For those brave (or crazy) enough to consider what’s arguably the most dangerous job in Liverpool, Councillors will finalise interviewing CEO candidates in coming weeks.
This timely hiring comes while the Mayor of Liverpool himself has been really stuggling to find form of late, he just can’t seem to get off the mark with either the bat or ball at the minute.
You would have to think that selectors (Councillors) are watching closely right now as they take a good look at the entire leadership team in appointing a new CEO. If Mannoun struggles to work with this next CEO, then you would have to think something more drastic might need to be considered in the best interests of the residents of Liverpool.
They’re now seeking to replace Mr John Ajaka, who became the Council’s remarkable 10th CEO to be sent back to the pavilion in just eight years.
The Last Wicket to Fall
Ajaka’s dramatic exit (former president of the NSW Legislative Council, no less) came after allegedly telling the Liverpool Mayor to “Shut the f* up” during a heated staffing discussion. What followed was less cricket match, more Game of Thrones. In a spectacular display of power play, Mayor Ned Mannoun refused to declare a conflict of interest in a deadlocked 5-5 vote, using his casting vote to stump Ajaka. The situation got so heated that police had to be called – proving that Liverpool Council chambers offer more drama and action than a Donald Trump reality show.
The Night Watchman
While the metaphorical blood was still being mopped from Council’s shiny new chamber floor, Jason Breton was promoted from Operations Manager to acting CEO. Initially appearing to play on Mannoun’s team, Breton’s position became less secure after the recent local elections, with the power balance being described as one of Warnie’s best “flippers”. While rumoured to have thrown his hat in the ring for the permanent position, sources suggest his chances are about as likely as England winning the Ashes in Australia.
A Former Captain Returns?
Adding to the intrigue, ex-CEO Dr Eddie Jackson has been spotted around Liverpool’s corridors of power, sending the rumour mill into absolute overdrive. Highly regarded during his innings, Jackson’s previous departure was also courtesy of a Mayoral Minute from Mannoun – apparently now the preferred method of declaring CEOs ‘out’ in Liverpool. Is Dr Jackson back to take another shot?
The Final Over
This appointment could be Liverpool’s last chance at avoiding being sent to the administrative equivalent of the reserve grade. With an OLG inquiry examining claims of maladministration, the stakes couldn’t be higher.
The position comes with a hefty salary package of nearly $600,000 – though given the job security record, that hazard pay seems as necessary as a helmet facing Mitchell Johnson in his prime.
Interviews continue this week, with the next CEO expected to be announced by February’s end. Will they find their perfect number 11, or is this just another duck in the making?
Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of “How to Lose a CEO in 10 Days: Liverpool Council Edition.”
Note: All cricket metaphors were harmed in the making of this article.
